Postcards from the Edge

of Bangladesh

Why I haven’t won the lottery yet

Simple answer: my internet speed*.

It keeps letting me down at the crucial moment. I’ve picked my numbers, using my mind-bogglingly complicated mathematical and scientific system (closing my eyes and randomly clicking on the screen, peeking to check until I’ve hit the required amount of numbers), and then… my internet dies or goes so   s…l…o…w…l… y   that it might as well be dead. Then I’m logged out or have to reload the page, and the winning numbers gone. Forever lost. Because those WERE the winning numbers. I’ve played the Lotto so infrequently in my life, that every time I do play I’m convinced I’ll win. I’m actually disappointed when I check my ticket/email.

While it’s no secret I love, love, love my mobile internet, and when I packed my bags to move here, I didn’t even entertain the idea that I would have ANY internet connection. I just wish it was faster, so I could a) win the lottery and b) watch cool things online like Sigh.

I’ve been checking out a South African website, called It has uplifting, positive stories (ok, I haven’t actually read the stories yet, but that’s the vibe I’m getting) about moving back to South Africa, not the usual fear inducing, quick-buy-a-gun stories one usually reads about SA. They have this ‘moving home checklist’ for the 6 months preceding your return home. With 6 months to go, I should be sending money home to support myself while I settle in and set up. Ja, except I’m earning £100 a month. And shopping. So, you know, this is where the lottery fits in. That and the (much stalled, currently abandoned) rich husband hunt.

*Did you know you can play the lottery online, and it’s open to anyone from any country to win? It’s amazing, internet speed allowing. Try it at, where you can play about 5 different lotteries. And yes, it is legit.

PS The EuroMillions draw tonight has my name ALL OVER IT.


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